Drug: Ketamine (s-isomer)
Duration: 20 minutes
Date: Spring 2013
Environment: Laying in bed, alone.
It took less than 5 minutes for the K-hole paralysis to set in…
I experienced what I fully believed was my death and crossed over to the other side. Initially, I was confused about how this could happen, then I remembered that I had done K. So I naturally concluded that I must have overdosed and died. Then I began experiencing a sense of fear of what lies beyond and grieving the fact that I will never see my friends and family again. I even recall feeling compassion for their suffering when they learned of my death. It was that real.
Then things got weird.
The grieving process was also surprisingly short as I shed the mortal coil almost as one would a bathrobe. In hindsight, this is because the drug was still taking hold and clearly had plans to go much further. With my mortal body (or what I thought was my body) no longer inhabitable, I existed as only a single point of light floating in the air. I paused to consider my circumstances. I decided that hovering around over streets and buildings didn’t make a lot of sense. Earth is a place for the living, which no longer applies to me.
So I willed myself to rise and flew through the Earth’s atmosphere and into open space. After a short while, I saw what looked like a river of light flowing through the cosmos. As I got closer, I realized that the river was actually comprised entirely of little points of light, just like I was. So I entered the river and began to contemplate the nature of existence.
At one point I wondered how I was feeling about this unexpected turn of events. I didn’t know. It’s not that I was conflicted or felt something that I couldn’t readily quantify, it was because emotions didn’t exist here in the same way they do when incarnate. When I was alive, thoughts and emotions were abstract concepts that “lived” in another plane of existence but were accessible by us to use in determining physical actions on the material plane. Here, any thought or emotion I concentrated on manifested as a physical object that could be manipulated and combined according to rules of physics similar to those in the material world. So I was either outside of the concepts of thought and emotion or I was in the nexus where thoughts are born.
It is this utterly alien state of being which is not subject to constant bombardment by neurochemicals which I personally believe to be the realm of the Ipsissimus. It is also follows why it is unattainable for any length of time while attached to a physical brain.
The entire experience lasted less than 20 minutes, which is considerably shorter than the average 45 minutes that this drug and dosage should have provided. But when it was over, I no longer feared death. It also imparted in me a deep-seated sense of calm regarding the transcendent and eternal nature of my being which I still carry with me some 5 years later.
- I had no tolerance to Ketamine whatsoever when conducting this experiment. So if you use Ketamine on anything like a regular basis, you will need to increase the dosage (probably 2x or 3x).
- This was not my first K-hole experience. Previous experiences where more similar to what people often describe. This experience happened at a time when I was actively engaged in experiments related to astral projection. I believe this accounts for why the experience took the turn it did in the way that it did.